The Dark

So here’s the truth. Life is hard. I’ve been in a really not great state of mind lately. Not really negative. Not really positive.

Between this pandemic and personal situations, I find myself feeling like I can’t catch a break.

Could it just be me over analyzing and worrying about situations that don’t exist? Absolutely yes. None the less, I can’t seem to snap out of it.

I’m talking, nightmares and night sweats. Hot flashes. Suddenly drop dead drowsy. Not sleeping. Feeling exhausted when I really don’t do anything.

I use the gym as therapy. I’m going about 6 times a week. I lose track of time. I zone out in the middle of sets. The other day my timer was going off for a solid 2 minutes and I didn’t even realize. That’s not like me. I zone out thinking about the darkest situations. Some that have occurred and some that haven’t.

It’s really hard to put it into words.

I tell you this because I want all of you to know that it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to take time and work stuff out within yourself. It’s okay to not want to do anything or go anywhere. You are a human being and just when it seems it can’t get any worse, it can. It always can.

Try to stick to your routine. Try to get out of bed. Try to go to the gym. You won’t realize how capable your are until you try!

I’m not saying it will be easy. Some days are so rough, I spend 2 hours in the gym because it’s my escape (most of the time). It takes a lot for me to even get there sometimes.

When it feels unbearable. When you feel like there is no way out. Take a step back. Gather yourself, your thoughts, and your goals. Remember your purpose. Remember how far you’ve come.

Keep your head up and shine on. You and I both will make it through this storm.